Failure And Lovestruck

Can't believe that I had to put up with failure once again. It was quite unbearable at first, but I pulled through eventually. I saw it coming anyway. My revising techniques was poor and I didn't follow the guidance given by the MGN 69 when I know it could have prevented me from failing. I guess all I could say that is, now I know how the MCA orals is like so I know what to expect in the future.

To be honest, regardless of how many people said I tried my best. I could never believe it. I lasted less than 30 minutes so that was pretty much pathetic. I was mislead. Believing that the most important part of the exam is the COLREGs, it is. But in a way, made me prioritise less in other topics. Now I need to revise again. sigh. I was hoping to use this time to finish my remaining resit assignments. I'm glad that I read the Quran and skipped less of my prayers this time, It kept me strong and not fall too far below after failing the exam. Thank god.

 ( I'll try to keep this in mind this time)

Heh. I never thought that I would have feeling for this girl this long, regardless of how hopeless it is. These feelings has weakened as time passes by. But nevertheless, I could never forget the times I spent with her. The differences between us didn't stop me from feeling this way for her. Love is blind? Damn right it is.

Right now I just wait till I could get this feeling off me. I still feel bad for what I did, more like what I made her do. I am sorry. But how could I ever forget the feeling of having someone you love close to you; having held her in my arms, go places as we held each other's hands tight. It was too wonderful, and too good to be true. I made things complicated.

Now whenever you say that you will 'part'. I don't put any hopes at all anymore. I would only go with the flow, and get what I can. No matter what and how much you say about him, I feel that there is something that you do not want to admit, which is why you're both still together but I do not know to be honest. I do not want to push things my way. I was selfish back then, not anymore. Besides, we will part our ways soon. Sad. But thats how it is for us. I can only cherish the time I have left to spend time with you.

For the first time, I'm gonna write this feeling into my blog..

I LOVE YOU

I never thought my feelings for anyone would ever be this strong. But it eventually did. But hey, I'm thankful for everything that you have given and shared with me. We will always be good friends, for as long times lets us.