Another sleepless night...

*sigh* again..I didn't sleep for another day. This is the 2nd time this week..I hope I won't have to go through this again for the next few days..I need my sleep..My body doesnt feel god right no..my chest hurts a few moments ago..its normal actually..but i think its related to my lack of slp..

I finished my asignment around 3am..Bored, I played MGS portable Ops and abducted a few guys to join my force..nearly 4am..I went to slp..but ended staying awake..its either the Latte I drank earlier..or things that I kept thinking about..things that are bothering for a very long time..

I guess its just how people view life and how people judge you..Up till now..people still treat me as if i'm a kid.and I'm already 20!! what the fuck?!! Seriously, just because I'm short and abit childish doesn't mean that you can treat me as a child..
"Lum berakal ko ni jul" fuck off!!!

I guess it's something to do stereotyping as well...wait, it is a STEREOTYPE!!.Its a habit of mine you know; clumsy, careless, forgetful, daydream, messy..Still I think about things that are important. About my family, how many I am going to manage to live here in UK. So far everything's ok..I still manage to control my budget..Buy enough food and some clothes soon for Winter. That'll be on once this month's allowance comes out. Anyways, some of the guys I know here can finish up more than half of his allowance before mid of the month. And the stuff he bought aren't even important!! What the hell?!! Then when he's broke he'll ask for food cause he's already broke..Well, not My falut isn't it??!! "siapa yang nda berakal ah?" ....

All I want is some respect as another person, quite a number of people says that I'm not mature. Am I not? I think this because everyone has the same or different definition of "Maturity". As for me, I think I'm matured enough. Just that there's still some parts of me that needs to be improved or changed for the bette especially the SO forgetfull and careless part. Above all, I just want to stay as myself; a hard-core gamer, care for my family and friends, being alone at times, thinking alot..and all that..Most you guys know what kind of person I am (not 100% cause even my closest of friend thinks of me as a person that I'm not)so I don't have to say out everything. All I ask is for people to accept me for who I am..Not too much to ask right?

Yeah, I manage to get some sleep time after my first lecture today. So I was able to stay awake on my second lecture; Shipboard Management. I think thats all for now..I'm going to start on my chartwork..later ;)

The lifeless -ness~

I guess can't help but to agree when others said, "BST? No life man". Yeah, they're right..Taking a sandwich course..everything thrown us and as 'A-level students' we're suppose to be used to it. Yeah right!! Really sucks here..living in a town. To get to the city, we need to take a bus..and thats 4.30 pounds for a RETURN ticket..sheesh!!!

Now I have assignments to be worried about, examinations are coming really soon.like next month?!! damn..to enjoy my time..All I do is go online, listening to music, playing monster hunter freedom 2 on my PSP lite and working out at the gym..Its too cold to stay outside. Winter is just around the corner..I need to get some more clothing to keep myself warm..

Most of the guys feels the same way..Some of them feel like quitting if they have the option. Unfortunately we don't. We can..but it'll cost us alot of money..when I mean alot I mean hundred of thousands. Honestly, I feel just the same as they do. I don't want to quit..I already made my choice, so I have to stick to it.

If its already bad here, its going to be 10 times as bad on board the tankers. Yeah, we get good allowance..you get to go to japan and korea..but if you think about it, you cant go anywhere when you're free..you run a very routine life...so far away from home and love ones..damn, I miss my family and friends..I only have 2 weeks holiday before my 2nd UK phase, so I'll have to get the best out of it..sigh...2 months left before I go home for awhile for my 1st sea phase..first,stick with my family...then I'll contact my friends..Ruru-chan will be around..Haven't see her for awhile..hope I get to hang out with her..iLLa especially..Asking her out is tough but I really hope I get to be with her..even if its just for 1 day..

got loads to let out but really short on time..anyways, I've been listening to a song while I was writing this blog..listen to it while you're reading it..Like it cause its about brotherhood and shit..well, sounds like it..cheers mate..

"Life goes on - 2pac"

Assignments, Assignments, Assignments!!! and exams!!!

So many assignments!! One after another..another one to submit next week..and another the week after..then another...then the exams TT Owh God..I hope I'll enjoy my 2 week holiday after that. Yes, my winter holiday is only 2 weeks..other people have longer holidays...Got short courses after that.Some seamanship shit...urgh..Hopefully the company will let us go back home soon after *praying*....Wanna spend some quality time with friends and family before I go on my first Sea Phase..Which is like 4mths I think TT then less than 2 weeks break then board on a ship again TT owh..this is my life now...

My blog is collecting dust :(

sorry guys..Haven't really updated my blog for such a long while. Been busy with stuff..Anyways, yes there has been a lot of stuff going on up till now. Okay..Maybe its because lazy mode kicks in everytime I try to make a new post..Anyways, i'll start posting again whenever I'm free..I'll even post past events like the London weekend with Putri and Mahirah..cheers~ ;)