Breakdown

I am just one of those people who easily gets into a nervous breakdown. No matter how much I tried to keep myself composed, I still end up in that state. Trembling, confused, indecisive and unconfident. It is one of those states that I really hate being in, especially when it involves giving out a presentation to a number of people, or talking to a superior.

Yesterday was 1 of those bad times to be in such state. I was completely overwhelmed by the superiority of the man from the company who paid us cadets a visit. He states out facts that were disappointing but true that it hurts. I could feel my spirit shatter as he continues to comment on our actions and progress to date.

As I said earlier, what hurts the most is that these facts are true. I had nothing to back myself up, to keep myself standing. So during the whole session, I was filled with nothing but guilt,regret and disappointment for my lack of good performance. But what is there to regret when these things has been done? The only option I have now is continue to move forward and pick up my pace as I did earlier.

Looking back at the session yesterday, it makes me wonder what will happen when I stand up against the MCA orals examiner. I need to build up my confidence in order to answer his question with confidence. There is still time. Action needs to be taken.