in pieces

Ever since I got back, there has been nothing more than problems. Family being the biggest of them all. It hurts that, no matter how much you tried, there are always things that would drag you to that bottomless pit where you feel damned.

I am again; Lost. I have lost my sense of purpose. I've lost the reason to move on, to move forward to stand my ground. I feel nothing but guilt and despair. When I tried to lessen the burden, more problems arise that I've never thought would happen. and this feeling that tells me that I am the cause of it. I couldn't stop it.

Despite all those effort and the time I spent away, yet I felt unappreciated. Wasted. What I did was never enough and I am sorry that I couldn't give more that I could offer.

Yes, reality is harsh. but it's kind of better this way. Knowing the truth.

and now I condemn myself. I am broken. I am in pieces..