Black Monday

So much has happen just today. That made me realise how much of a failure I have become. So now I have to stop..

So this day I've decided to reduce my burden..

that the only thing that is important right now..

is that one dream that I want to achieve in this life time..

Just that..

then I could leave if God wants me to..

I don't want to live long..

I don't have to get married..

I don't have to have a family of my own..

I don't have to achieve my dream of being a games designer or animator..

I don't have to travel around the world..

Its that one that I wish for..

Then I can rest in peace..

Then I can leave this world behind..

If not finally achieve that of less importance..

I meant what I said. I swear to God what I have said above is true..and it will stay that way..

random as usual

*sighs* Just a few more minutes before I go to bed, just felt like ending the night with a post..

Friday except for the weekends was another a new experience. Saturday and sunday were boring. Friday was something new. Me , Paul Sinclair and Robert Webb went off to a gig at Cardiff early afternoon.

It was a 4 hour long drive since we went on the wrong highway and a number of wrong turns. But all that was forgotten once we got to Cardiff International Arena. Unfortunately enough, we missed the guests, one of them being Machine. Why was I there? Slipknot. Yeah, this was my first ever gig, and it was Metal.

I expected a lot of things and I wasn't wrong. A lot of alcohol, piercings, punk hair style, violence and skin. What I didn't expect was that, there were empty bottles (they were plastic only) and some even filled, thrown high in the air, anyone could get hit. Even me.

So it started, I saw chaos, hate, the intensity and.....I loved it. It was fucking awesome. I couldn't believe it myself. Cause deep inside, I'm no different then the people who were around me. I avoided getting into moshpit cause I might not like it, get angry and start a beat down. I joined the crowd. Jumping, head banging and pushing. I showed a lot of tolerance that night. I never liked the smell of alcohol. But I could take it. Cardiff rocked hard that night!! I could feel my bones shaking to the sounds of the drum and mean it. The band loved the crowd and might come again next year..





One hell of a night..came back home 2 in the morning and smell like a drunk (no i didn't drink)..took a shower, played a short game of WoW and went to sleep.

Yeah, got myself a Slipknot Shirt at the venue before We went back.

Friends

In truth, we all have friends. A lot of them. I have quite a lot myself. But only few can truly be called Real Friends.

I'm not going to mention names. You know who you are and fucking glad that I have you guys by my side.To me, real friends are those that are always there for each other no matter who and where they are. They wouldn't care if you act differently because they accept you. They respect each other and thats one of the best of it.

Right now, I'm so far away from those I call Real Friends and I fucking miss them. Sigh..

can't be bothered anymore

Okay since I'm so fucking bored, I'm going to try updating my blog more often. I'm just getting sick you know. Sick of the typical. Sick of the fact that, you expect something more from some people. In fact, their the same kind you see single day especially back home. Fucking lot. You disappoint me.

Now I see no difference in you people. So I rather stay away from the likes of you lot than get infected by your NORMAL lives. I love who I am and What I do. And there's nothing that you can do about it. Yeah, I'm bitching this time. Like I give a fuck? I don't. I'm loving it. I just wish there weren't too many of you. There are thousands of you.

You cannot expect me to act like you want me to be. Don't expect me to treat like others do cause I don't. I'm different and I'm very proud of it and I'm keeping it that way. Thank you.